When someone in a family dies, children often have questions they can't quite put into words, and adults often aren't sure how to begin. A well-chosen picture book can give you both a starting place. This guide shares children's books about death and grief that hospital and hospice teams recommend, grouped by approximate age, plus simple tips for reading them together.
How a book can help
The Child Mind Institute notes that reading children's books about death together can be a good way to start a conversation, and that drawing, looking at photos or telling stories can help children who can't yet express feelings in words (Child Mind Institute). Nemours KidsHealth suggests using simple, clear words such as "died," listening, and answering questions honestly (KidsHealth).
A few tips before you open any book:
- Read it yourself first. You'll know what's coming and whether it suits your family's beliefs and your child's situation.
- Go slowly. Pause for questions. It's fine to stop halfway and come back another day.
- Expect repeats. Many children ask for the same book again and again, and that's okay.
- Follow their lead. Some children talk afterward, some draw, and some go straight back to playing. All of that is normal.
For toddlers and preschoolers
Something Very Sad Happened by Bonnie Zucker. This is an affiliate link; Memorials By GG may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. The publisher wrote it for two- and three-year-olds. Words printed in red cue you to say the name of the person who died, and there's a note for parents at the back.
The Goodbye Book by Todd Parr. Told through a pet fish who has lost its companion, it uses colorful pictures and very few words to name the many feelings that come with saying goodbye.
For young children (about 4 to 8)
The Invisible String by Patrice Karst. A mother tells her two children they're connected to the people they love by a string made of love. It isn't only about death, so it also works for other kinds of separation.
The Memory Box by Joanna Rowland. A child worries about forgetting someone who died and makes a box of keepsakes and written memories. The back includes ideas for making your own memory box, along with a parent guide written from a Christian perspective.
Lifetimes by Bryan Mellonie and Robert Ingpen. This gentle book explains that plants, animals and people all have beginnings, endings and living in between. It's helpful when a child asks why things die.
Ida, Always by Caron Levis. Inspired by two real polar bears at New York's Central Park Zoo, this story follows Gus as his friend Ida becomes sick and dies. It can be especially useful when a family knows a death is coming.
When Dinosaurs Die by Laurie Krasny Brown and Marc Brown. It covers what "alive" and "dead" mean, feelings about death, saying goodbye and ways to remember someone. A glossary at the back explains words like cremation.
When a pet dies
For many children, a pet's death is their first experience of loss. The Tenth Good Thing About Barney by Judith Viorst follows a boy whose cat has died. He tries to think of ten good things to say about Barney at the funeral. Our guide to pet memorial ideas has more ways to help a family remember a dog or cat.
For older kids and teens
Mick Harte Was Here by Barbara Park. A novel for roughly 8 to 12, narrated by a girl remembering her younger brother, who died in a bicycle accident. Read it first, especially if your family's loss was sudden.
Healing Your Grieving Heart for Teens by Alan Wolfelt. Written directly to teens, it offers short, practical ideas they can read on their own, starting from any page.
After the story: small ways to remember
A book often leads to an activity. A child might draw a favorite memory, add a photo to a memory box, or tell you a story about the person while you write it down. KidsHealth encourages helping children remember the person through drawings and stories, and not avoiding talking about them. For more ideas, see how to help a child remember a grandparent.
When a child may need more support
Books can help, but they don't replace caring adults or professional support. KidsHealth advises talking with your child's doctor if a child's distress lasts more than a few weeks, or if the death was sudden, violent or deeply stressful. Many hospices and children's grief centers also offer support groups. If you or someone in your family is in crisis, you can call or text 988 in the U.S.
About this list: the books were chosen from children's book lists published by Nationwide Children's Hospital, Hospice of Spokane, St Peter's Hospice and Blythe House Hospice. Ages are approximate, so trust what you know about your own child. Many of these books are also at your local library.