Veterans Day falls on November 11 every year, whatever day of the week it lands on. The U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs describes it as a day to honor America's veterans of all wars; Memorial Day is the day set aside for those who died in military service. Even so, for many families the day brings one particular person close: a father, grandmother, spouse, or friend who served and is no longer here.
If that is where you find yourself this week, here are some quiet, practical ways to remember them. None is required; some people find comfort in ceremonies, others prefer a private moment or let the day pass gently. Grief resources for military families, such as Military OneSource, point out that everyone grieves differently, and that is worth holding on to.
Pause at 11 o'clock
The date comes from the armistice that stopped the fighting of World War I "on the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month" in 1918. According to the VA's history of Veterans Day, the first observances in 1919 included a brief pause in business beginning at 11:00 a.m.
You can borrow that tradition for your own home. At 11 a.m., set a timer, step outside or sit by a window, and spend a minute or two thinking about the person you miss. You might say their name or simply something you are grateful for. It takes no planning and works anywhere.
Fly the flag, the customary way
The U.S. Flag Code (4 U.S.C. § 6) lists Veterans Day among the days when the flag should be displayed. A few details from that section are useful to know:
- The custom is to fly the flag from sunrise to sunset. It may stay up overnight if it is properly lit.
- The code says not to display it in bad weather unless it is an all-weather flag.
- Half-staff "until noon" is listed for Memorial Day, not Veterans Day, so on November 11 the flag normally flies at full staff.
If your loved one's family received a folded flag, some households bring it out for the day and set it beside a photograph instead of flying a separate flag outdoors.
Tell their service story
Veterans Day can be a natural time to gather the pieces of someone's service: photographs in uniform, letters home, unit patches, or the stories they told at the kitchen table. Set a few out on a small table with a framed photo, and invite family to add a memory on a card.
Example (fictional): One family keeps a shoebox of their grandfather's Navy photos. Each November they choose one picture, write down who is in it and what they remember, and tuck the note back in the box.
There are also free official places to share a story:
- Veterans Legacy Memorial (VLM). The VA's National Cemetery Administration runs this online memorial at va.gov/remember. Its FAQ says it includes veterans buried in VA national cemeteries, VA-funded state and tribal veterans cemeteries, military-managed cemeteries, and others. It also covers those in private cemeteries since 1996 who received a VA headstone, marker, niche cover, or medallion. Family and friends can submit tributes, photos, and biographical details, and moderators review everything before it appears.
- Military In Lasting Tribute. Military OneSource notes this online memorial for service members who died while serving honorably on active duty from 1985 to the present. Families can submit a request and photo.
- A Presidential Memorial Certificate. If the veteran was eligible for burial in a national cemetery but is buried in a private one, next of kin, family members, or close friends can request this engraved certificate through the VA. The VA asks you to send copies, not originals, of discharge papers and the death certificate.
Serve in their name
Some families honor a veteran by doing something useful for others: volunteering with or donating to a veterans' organization, or checking in on someone who served alongside them. Military OneSource suggests donations or volunteering in a loved one's memory as one way survivors mark the holidays.
A lasting marker at home or in the garden
Some families like a permanent reminder they can see every day. Our Patriotic Eagle American Flag Memorial sign is personalized with a name and dates. It comes in a hanging version for a wall or porch, or a staked version for a garden. If you plan to place anything at a grave, check the cemetery's decoration rules first. For help choosing the words, see our guide to writing a memorial inscription.
If the day feels heavy
A day of public tributes can stir up a lot, and it is fine to keep things small. TAPS (Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors) offers support at no cost to anyone grieving the death of a military loved one, including friends and battle buddies. You can reach its 24/7 National Military Survivor Helpline at 800-959-8277. If you are a veteran in crisis, or worried about one, the Veterans Crisis Line is available by calling 988 and pressing 1.
However you mark November 11, whether that's a minute of quiet at 11 o'clock, a flag on the porch, or a story told again, you are keeping their service part of your family's life.